9th June leaving Southampton
We are on Royal Caribbean Explorer of the Seas. It is a sister ship to Navigator of the Seas so it is set out the same, meaning we have no difficulty finding our way around.
The journey down was taxing. There was a three car smash between junctions 23/24 of the M6. Apparently there was a road mending machine doing potholes. Bright yellow, huge white arrow on blue background and bright flashing yellow lights, you can picture the scene. Three cars smashed the into the back of it, one after the other. So the road was closed all morning and well into the afternoon. We met a couple today who got caught up in it and sat for four hours going nowhere.
When we saw the “M6 closed” and “long delays” we were able to shoot off onto the M61, M62, M1. Handy to be a seasoned driver who has maps in his head. I have read that many younger people who rely on SatNav are lost when they have to work out a route, even reading a map.
So the journey took us nine hours and the rain was heavy and steady throwing up spray like driving into fog. I was doing a steady 70 but cars shot past me, must have magic tyres and binocular vision. Perhaps it was some of them who ran into the road mender.
We had dinner in The Windjammer Buffet tonight. It is set out differently to Navigator. The first thing of note is there is a “corral” of about thirty seats and tables labelled “for our physically challenged guests and guests who use wheelchairs”. That would be good if it weren’t for the stewards at the gaps in the fences herding us with cattle prods to prevent us escaping to get amongst the “normal” guests. We heard later that they are in training for Donald’s Mexican Fence Force.
The people in the next cabin have cruised with us before so it was good to catch up. William has bumped into a few people he recognises even the man who kept him intrigued with tales of his collection of corkscrews. I got trapped waiting for a lift by a man who was explaining the mathematics and algorithm of how lifts are sequenced. He went into such detail I was desperate for the doors to open lift or not.
Day 2 at sea.
A different experience on here is the “Black and White Film Club”. Today they are showing “A Streetcar Named Desire”. The first time I have seen it on the big screen. No wonder it raised eyebrows in its day, the way they portray Stan (Marlon Brando) is like a Chippendale, and not the chair. The director takes every opportunity to show of his assets. I am sure it would have been just as entertaining if Stan had been based on Stanley Ogden (Corrie).
The “Enrichment Lecture” was “What makes a psychopath?” A light hearted romp through brain physiology and chemistry. Lots of couples looking at their partners askance.
Evening in the theatre, four guys who had all appeared in various productions of The Glums (Les Miserables) putting on an amazing performance of vocal range and harmony. They call themselves “The Barricade Boys”, Les Mis, Man The Barricades, you get it? Well thanks to varifocals I thought they were “The Barcode Boys”, ex checkout operators perhaps? Their performance of Bohemian Rhapsody was superb, not a piece to be performed live but my, they did it justice.
William is back in his “Springburn sheepdog” mode rounding up Scots. Now perhaps I am biased but they are all such a lively and entertaining people so we had many a raucous and belly aching conversation and having so much in common laughed until we were sore. That was appropriate as being of a certain age we had tales of surviving brain tumours, a woman with the same conditions as me (stenosis, scoliosis, sacroiliac strain) so that took us down an hilarious route of misdiagnosis, ineffectual treatments, opioids, hallucinations and failed PIP assessments. We were rolling on the floor laughing at medications. “Take on an empty stomach” Ceba Geigy we’re not thinking of morbidly obese people on a cruise! When we started on bowel movements, second night on ship, lack thereof, and no prunes on the buffet we were pulled up short suddenly realising we are old!
One lesson I was taught 30 years ago while being interviewed for a job was, when asked where you live, say the exact town or district. So many people, who on hearing their lilting tones, I have asked “so where do you come from?” Have replied “Scotland”, is if I thought they had picked up their accent after a fortnight at the “Ecclefechan B&B”, Fleetwood. After a geographic helicopter flight around their home turf we have gone from “near Edinburgh,” to “Fife” to “Dunfermline” eventually landing at “Cairneyhill”. What a small world.
For those of you not on Facebook you will not be aware of my little cruise eccentricity. I have one finger nail (yes I have stopped biting them)painted with the St Andrews Flag. It is the long middle finger of my right hand. I realise that is what one might politely call “the rude finger” when extended but when extended and moved in a circular motion it is deaf sign language for holiday, so “to the pure…..etc.” It is my way of maintaining my identity when people ask William “does he take sugar?” or when I am alone and they talk to the scooter instead of me. “That’s a fine machine” “I hope you haven’t been drinking”, “have you got a licence for that”, I could go on…. So for those who fail to see ME, I CAN rub the middle finger up and down my cheek in the rude way and for those who notice it I can launch into a loyal description of why we need independence.
Day 3, still at sea
So that is why I am still writing my missive. Sitting in the Viking Crown lounge, 70 degree view of the forward horizon.
Another couple we got talking to about illnesses, medications and bowels were a couple you could have sympathised with, Ian. She fell and broke her hip and her recovery, thirteen weeks in hospital being moved from bed to chair to eat then back to bed again to be then sent home with a zimmer to do the same routine. She could have still been like that today had her husband not signed her out, taken over and pushed her to extend herself. Not easy for a spouse to give or take.
Now I am giving you a very one sided picture of the cruise. Although there are plenty of my “Cocoon” generation there is a good wide age range on this cruise down to post-school age. A delightful absence of children.
The sun is shining so I am gazing down on a phalanx of walkers and serried (what does that word mean?) ranks of white people on sun beds, whom I expect to be lobsters by tonight, not taking into their equation of the strength of the rays at sea.
Lunch enjoyed, afternoon zzzs had, so to the theatre for another show by The Barricade Boys. A wide repertoire from to 50’s rock via 80’s disco, back to The Beatles.
Thence to the R Bar, it used to be the Champagne Bar, what the rebranding was about I can’t imagine. 3pm to 4pm is what is euphemistically known as Friends of Dorothy. For all of us who are “musical”, “good to their mothers”, “light on their toes” etc. Now labelled LGBTI+. I saw a great quote last week. “When you ask why there is no “straight pride” think yourselves lucky you don’t need one.” It was accompanied by a picture of the two young lesbians, covered in blood, who, last week, were ridiculed, taunted and beaten by a group of teenagers on a bus to Camden Town.
Four guys turned up, one couple accompanied by a sister. All Victoria Wood fans so we spent the afternoon mercilessly plagiarising her best lines. After dinner we were in bed by 9 getting reenergised for Gibraltar tomorrow. I will get this away from there.
Day 4 12th June
Hot and sunny in Gibraltar 78 degrees. The country is experiencing a bit of a renaissance. After the financial crash of 2008 we saw many established shops close. They were replaced by shops selling fake booze, fake tobacco and cheap leather. Now they have been replaced by quality shops and big names. We always go to a long established bottle shop, Vinopolis just off Casemates Square. We have also found a well hidden bar that has great coffee and a clean loo.
We managed to sneak our alcohol purchases on to the ship. It has to be surrendered on embarking and you get it back second last day. I just look confused and flustered and seem to get away with it every time.
Onboard ship the ambulant people, otherwise known as ignorant B’s have found their way into the “physically challenged corral”. I suppose they can’t see us to get anything that they have been denied so having nabbed our blue badge parking spaces our reserved seating is the next target.
I managed to buy a small St Andrew’s flag in Gibraltar. It is proudly flapping on the flag pole on the front of my scooter making me visible above the crowds and providing a talking point other than “have you got a licence….?
My regular subscribers will now be familiar with the loyalty system on RCL. Once you reach 80 nights cruising you become a diamond member which, along with other perks, lets you patronise the Diamond Club where re the main attraction is a free bar from 5p.m. to 8:30p.m. On having spent 170 nights cruising you become diamond+ which gives you a few extra benefits including access to the Concierge Lounge, again with a free bar. What has now happened is, in the Concierge Lounge the barman is serving large measures, our favourite tipples involving Baileys and Whisky. In the Diamond club they are now serving single measure, “Spar” drinks. Carolann’s Irish Cream made with wine not whisky and the generic whisky is “High Commissioner” which is what the “Just About Managing” alcoholics drink as opposed to meths at the bottom end of the economic pile. Both bars have Blue Curaçao but I am not tempted to try it in case the ‘Diamonds’ are being served anti freeze.
Day 5 at sea
Another perk of both lounges is a very comprehensive continental breakfast. There is a toaster and a wide range of breads to toast to your own preference. William refers to “the many faces of Michael Jackson” but I feel that might be a bit racist, disablist and Cooky-booist. The lounges are always quiet and having floor to ceiling windows very bright and cheerful. So that is where I ate today to start another blog in peace and quiet. No canned music, no over-exuberant stewards and no children.
I say “peace and quiet” but there was a stramash at the Diamond buffet this morning. A couple of women were standing by the food and a man walked up to the coffee machine and started his brew. One of the women kicked off about “pushing in” and carried on her rant as she headed back to her seat. He, brew in hand, went across to pour gasoline on the flame and she rose to such a crescendo the Concierge had to go over to reestablish the peace. No chance. I bet she will dine out on that for a long time. On the 5th day of a fourteen-day cruise, is one place in the queue that important? The aforesaid ‘brew’ is from a WMF Bean to Cup machine that offers a wide range of freshly made coffee and a skin-peal if you stand too near to the frother.
Another “perk” is if you go to the gents on deck 11, that too has floor to ceiling windows. A contra-indicated venue in port.
Perks continued. Anyone can purchase a ‘Key Card’ for $16 per person per day. It is promoted as giving priority boarding, priority disembarkation at each port seating in priority areas at the theatre and one lunch in Chops grille. One must be mad to fall for that!
There are no activities exiting enough to entice us eating so my pastime will be reading and writing. “You lucky people”. To show that you read this, who made that their catch phrase?
You might be aware that on sea days boredom can set in for William so he has just booked another cruise for October 2020.
I made a promise to myself that I would try to keep away from the moans about what has been removed to save RCL money but this one is worth breaking my vow for. CUPS AND SAUCERS HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM ALL REFRESHMENT AREAS!’!! The alternative is to have a mug, a cheap thick pottery mug! Can you imagine, formal night, there you are in your best silk directoires and camisole. A lace hanky tucked up the leg. A pearl necklace and a dab of vanilla essence behind your ear and you are met with a mug that wouldn’t be out of place in a tramp’s hostel. We looked across the the waiter’s island at lunch and not one mug matched the other.
My blood pressure has just shot up. Tomorrow is Villefranche for Nice and Monaco. We go ashore by tender and have done it on three occasions by RCL, one on Independence of the Seas and twice on Navigator which is twin to this ship. Last thing at night we get the daily newsletter left on the bed that says NO powered chairs or scooters on the tender, only foldable chairs. The company know how many people are in powered chairs as we all need to fill in a “Special Needs Form” when we book. I will allow my ire to subside and get back to you re the outcome of our complaint.
Subject: Day 6 Friday 14th June 2019
We won!
After an evening spent savaging any officer who would listen, the Concierge took us down to a tender and we were successfully loaded. The ship’s “whoever” had arranged the private tender from Villefranche, with French staff, a lift and ramps. So we were on the first tender. Thereafter the Cruise Director made an announcement that, contrary to the blanket ban in the Cruise Compass Daily Magazine, people in power chairs and scooters could now go ashore. One to us I reckon.
Villefranche is a pretty little port with some magnificent mansions on the hills overlooking the port. Bono owns one of them so I guess his neighbours will be well healed. One of the chateaus has a private funicular from the main road. The streets are far too steep to explore on the scooter so we headed for Nice, about six miles along the coast.
We shared a taxi with four others making the fare €10 each and William and the driver lifted my scooter into the back after ‘filleting’ it of battery and seat to reduce the weight. A very comfortable journey.
Nice has a long promenade, you may remember a terrorist attack last year when a large delivery van ploughed into crowds of people gathered to see in the New Year. Parallel to that, the Old Town hosts a daily market that changes each day. Today, the flower market was on including the local lavender sellers so we purchased soap and lavender bags. We took local bread and cheese to the promenade and enjoyed a rustic lunch. It was hot and sunny with at times a Sirocco, the high and hot wind coming from the sea. So they really were sand-wiches.
Roughly at right angles to the long market street there are narrow streets with all sorts of foods and condiments, oils, spices, olives and dried fruits. There are specialist shops selling gloves, brightly coloured table linens and ‘peasant’ skirts and blouses. Each shop has its own specialism.
The women are so chic! Even the pigeons are chic, long slim necks and neat dark feathers as though they had been put together by Coco Chanel.
In the wake of the terror attack soldiers, in groups of eight, patrol the streets carrying automatic weapons, an awesome sight. A juxtaposition to the quaint beauty of Nice.
We were first back to catch the tender by 3:30. Having to wait for the accessible tender for 40 minutes, as we had just missed it. A couple who arrived behind us, he with scooter, moaned continuously about having to wait as the ship’s lifeboats were doing a constant shuttle. Once on the private tender and back at the ship they continued their grumbles at ambulant passengers being allowed to disembark before us. No consideration for all the extra work and manoeuvring needed to get us onto the ship. RCL could have just stood by their “no wheely people” but credit for sorting something out. I guess these two came on the cruise by clipping a coupon in the “Miserable Old Gits” Magazine.
Day 7 Friday 15th
We have just docked in La Spezia for Florence and Pisa’s. At the expense of sounding like poseurs we have done Florence and Pisa many times so will stay in La Spezia. We now have four ports in a row so you may get a blog a day. “You lucky people.
Saturday 15th June La Spezia
We have had a very Scottish day Today. I was proudly flying my saltire on the scooter when an Italian man stopped me to ask if I was Scottish. He then called his wife over. She was Margaret (pronounced Magrit) from Maryhill. She has been in La Spezia for 32 years and she spoke Glaswegian with an Italian accent. That is until she had been talking to “Wullie” for a few minutes then she was pure Maryhill. Her family hail from the same place in Ireland as William’s mum and share lots of the same names so we beat it before they were booking summer holidays.
Next we saw Alan Stewart, remember him, all teeth and pantomime. He is looking good and must be near 70. He had been one of the performers on this ship and was leaving to go to RCL Independence of the Seas. We didn’t catch his act. It isn’t seemly to watch old people trying to recapture their hay days. At least William got a selfie with him to show his ma.
La Spezia is a fascinating little town. Very traditional Italian. A bit “lived in” with some picturesque parts and some interesting Italianate buildings. I describe it as “authentic”. The pigeons here are more robust. More Mussolini than Versace. It has been a very hot day. Cloud for most of the morning but deceptive with the temperature touching 30 (almost Baltic, Michael) and after lunch the sun broke through making it “scorchio” out of the shade.
The joys of varifocals. On the front page of Compass, the cruise magazine there is a stern warning “absolutely no food or drink can be taken on or off the ship. Vibrators will be subject to a fine”. I puzzled over that it seemed very specific. Then William, showing off with his 20/20 vision pointed out it actually said ‘violators’, problem solved!
22:00 hours and still no engines running. I bought some CBD oil (cannabis) in the town. I am awaiting a knock at the door and for an Alsatian to be sniffing my espadrilles.
“Dirty Dancing” is playing on a constant loop on the movie channel so life is not too bad.
The ship was due to sail at 19:30. The captain made an announcement to the effect that all crew and guests were aboard, just some paperwork to be completed and we would be on our way. It is now 21.30 and we are still in the port. William spotted the Loyalty Manager so asked her about the delay. “We have some paperwork to complete as we will be in Italy tomorrow “.
William, “but we are in Italy now”. Her face froze. “Don’t worry, we will still be on time”, exit, stage left. We finally sailed at 10.25.
At night in the Diamond Club we often sit and chat to Mansell and his wife Delia. He is very chatty and interesting, she is a sweet soul who is recovering from a fractured hip and I also think she is in the first stages of dementia. She always looks elegant so I pay her genuine compliments, she gets all coquettish and does the very British thing of batting away compliments. Last night as they left the lounge to go to dinner she presented me with her open bottle of water, “I’ve saved this for you.” It is one of the loveliest gifts I have received.
It is Sunday morning and we docked in Civitavechia 30 minutes late so the captain did well to clear that paperwork. Now there are regular announcements asking people not to go ashore “due to heavy traffic in the roads outside the port area.” This is Civitavechia, a port with one street of shops. It is Sunday so no commuter traffic. I sense porky pies.
So you are again getting a daily blog. We will go ashore about 11 for our pilgrimage to the famous pizza shop.
For newcomers to this blog I will explain Civitavechia. It is an Italian port famous for it’s two hour coach drive in heavy traffic under burning sun to get to Rome. For us it is a place of familiar yet simple pleasures. There is a free shuttle for the ten minute ride to the town’s shuttle stop. That used to be a rough bit of land sometimes with a wee market tucked away in the most inhospitable corner. Over the years it has developed into what is now a large, well tarmac (how do you spell tarmacked ? It is not in the online dictionary), space, orderly bus stops with marked bays, pens to herd the bleating tourists onto the right shuttle buses and large marquees to shelter the private tour touts from the relentless sun. Since the rise in terror attacks across Europe it has armoured troops wandering around the place. This being Italy, they are suave, charming and responsive to the smiles (or leers) of old men on scooters.
In the past two years there has been massive investment in the port infrastructure. Today there are six large cruise ships in port. Many more arrival and departure lounges have been built. I use the word lounge with poetic licence, some are marquees and there is one inflatable structure but they are all now branded Rome Cruise Port. Again this employs a great deal of poetic license. (Is it licence or license? I tried to find the meaning via licentious but the ‘t’ completely confused me.)
Once out of the port, roads, pavements and crossing points have been improved while still retaining the challenge to wheelchair users, a dropped pavement one side of a crossing and a steep kerb on the opposite side. Very wise to slow down terrorists on mobility scooters.
A lot of money has been invested in concrete barriers with even more money spent on striped yellow paint. I guess someone must have done research into what baffles mad men with automatic rifles and have come up with yellow paint.
Once in the town there is a well paved promenade shaded by palm trees, this goes on for miles. At the start of the prom there is a seaside taverna (sounds more exotic than bar or caff) where I head for my “Shirley Valentine moment”. To sit by the sea in the country with the reputation for the best coffee and enjoy a cup under the shade of a pagoda. Another business has tried to muscle in by erecting another tented city, all white linen and fake grass but it doesn’t stand up to my well established erection.
After a walk along the promenade we always head into the Old Town where in a district once known as “The Ghetto” there is a simple rustic pizzeria. They only serve two types of pizza, it is sold by the kilo. A full pizza is 20” diameter so a half is sufficient to feed us both. The pizza is served on paper and you eat it with your fingers, no cutlery. The only beverages are beer or cola so it is a place of easy choices. Just wooden tables and chairs all very clean and a superb loo.
So it was then a gentle walk back to the shuttle, a wheelchair lift and efficient air conditioning. After my afternoon nap we headed for the Diamond lounge balcony and drinks with a growing group of friends.
As I sit and finish this the captain is talking over the tannoy saying again we are delayed by paperwork. A friend who was up very early said we came in by tug so must have been some heavy paperwork.
Tomorrow is Naples. We are taking a taxi to Herculaneum. It is meant to be much better preserved than Pompeii due to the type of ash that covered it and the way it fell.
I will get this away tonight and in the morning will report on anything we have discovered about the delays.
Monday 17th June
We are in the ancient port of Herculaneum that was engulfed in the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 AD. The lava flow heading for the town was slow. Slow enough for young children and old people to seek shelter in the stone archways carved out of the rock in which to store boats. The port was hit by blasts of heat at 400 degrees which snuffed out life quickly. The larva that followed entombed everything, perfectly preserving the bodies. People had fled with their tools and treasured possessions, some with gold and coins. A pregnant woman was excavated with her 8 month foetus petrified and totally preserved intact.
This was the seaside destination for wealthy and important people and where merchants would watch their ships coming and going with precious cargo. The site is much smaller than Pompeii but is much better preserved. Excavation started in 1710 with breaks for various conflicts. It was closed to the public for much of the 20th century as the site had become dangerous. At the millennium work was done to make it safe for visitors and wheelchair access was built in.
There are accessible exhibits of a full wooden boat, perfectly preserved and only excavated in 1982. A museum of valuable and intricate finds such as gold and silver jewellery, surgeon’s instruments, coils of rope, bags of coins and a carved wooden side-table, burnt to charcoal but perfectly preserved. Grand houses that were sealed from the outside but with their interiors unscathed show fine art paintings on the walls and mosaics of the finest quality. William covered the whole site while I found the ancient Roman drinks machines and accessible toilet. Amazing that they survived. William endured the town for as Long as possible but the heat got too much. He takes lots of photos and videos so that I can share the full experience.
The taxi driver who brought us from the ship, in the Bay of Naples, offered us a trip to sorrento but is is three hours round trip, in scorching heat, so it was back to the ship and air conditioning. I did an open bus tour of Naples five years ago and thought that pretty grim.
The friends we have made on this trip are lovely easy going people. I have already spoken about Mansell, ex RAF, retired and well travelled, chairman of the Naturist Society. William said remember his name as in Nigel Mansell, the racing driver, so I called him Nigel for the next three days. He didn’t seem to mind. His sweet wife Delia is a gentle soul with a lovely aura. Very forgetful of even the thing you have just told her but delightfully engaging. If I talk one to one with her she keeps up with the conversation. It was Delia who lovingly presented me with the partly consumed bottle of water.
Paul and Duncan from Exeter are two bearded bears. Sweet souls with magnificent beards. Paul has a lovely open face and has a lively energy and expressive, twinkling, eyes. His husband, delightful Duncan, he of villainous waxed moustache, whom I think must be the reincarnation of a silent movie villain, as he has a hundred ways of showing disdain and that without twirling the ends of his moustache. The final couple, Andrew and Martin are Pinnacle Class on RCL Ships, that is over 750 nights. They were given a special introduction at the Captain’s Top Tier Ice Show as they are now approaching 1000 nights. Martin taught at a girls school in Droylsden so they have no pretence.
Afternoon sleep indulged in, shower to remove the morning grime and ready to go to dinner. Tomorrow is Cagliari, pronounced Cayliari, as long as the captain doesn’t get delayed with more paperwork.
We were 90 minutes out of Naples when the captain made an announcement that we are having to turn back for a medical emergency so 21:00 and we are preparing to dock again.
We had dinner in the Windjammer dining with Paul and Duncan. They are kilted up for formal night but did not fancy anything on the dining room menu. I know we go on a bit but can you believe, in the main dining room, there isn’t one entree for vegetarians. We have not taken it too personally as we have booked yet another cruise for October this year. Friend David alerted us to a price drop so we have 11 nights in the Canaries on this ship for £750 each. How could we pass that buy. A benefit of being retired.
Overnight, the captain has put his foot down and we have made 22 knots in the race to get to Cagliari on time. There is no reliable information on the medical emergency but photos a man was showing on his iPhone in the lift were of lots of people leaning over the railing to watch something happening on a deck below, possibly at a crew member, and the adjectives being used were “horrible, gruesome, awful”. I will set Agatha O’Rourke on the trail of the truth.
I think the captain is on tablets, washed down with rum. He made his announcement about the medical emergency and said we had to return to “Sardinia” whereas in reality it was Naples. He added “having sailed at full speed overnight the pilot boat will be alongside at 11.30 and we should be cleared and ashore by 11!” (The time machine is on deck 16)
We went into Cagliari where I ran the gauntlet of cars, trams and busses as all the crossing points had steep kerbs. They do have black and white stripes like our crossings but appear to fulfil the function of improving the drivers aim as the hurtle towards you. The trick seems to be ‘don’t make eye contact’. They see that as a direct challenge.
We had a wander up the main thoroughfare to the town square. The street was lined with trees with lavender coloured blossom, very fragrant. As the ship was late in our going ashore coincided with siesta so proud owners were shutting their shops to repel and spenders. It was still very hot. We headed for the large department store, La Rinoscente. It was a favourite place to have a coffee in their roof top cafe but whereas previously it was like Littlewoods Cafe it is now more Harvey Nichols. There is a posh Italian bistro next to an “artisan food store”. One of those places where everything on sale would not make a decent meal unless your teeth are watering for “black snails in aspic with a balsamic drizzle”.
So back to the ship for lunch and to lock horns with the Maitre D, in this case a woman so I guess Mistress D (sounds like a drag queen or a dominatrix). I asked why there was no vegetarian hot selection. “There is” she exclaimed and marched me purposefully round the buffet until she spied “creamed Spinach!” I went on further to ask why no vegetarian entree in the main dining room last night. This she took personally “there was! I know, I have a lady who dines there”. “I beg to differ”, says I “but…..” she cut me short by appealing to one of the chefs who was trying to scuttle off into the anti pasti section. “There was a vegetarian entree on last night’s menu wasn’t there?” Her bosom heaved challenge him to a duel. “No” he said “but if you asked we had sweet and sour (something mumbled and indistinct)”. “There is something on tonight though?” She wasn’t willing to go down on a hail of sweet corn. “No, but if you ask…….”
Anyway the cheese sandwich filled a hole.
It is now 5p.m. And we are supposed to sail. I will get this posted before “ian the inebriate captain” comes up with en excuse not to draw anchor. We are at sea tomorrow before our last port, Cadiz before sailing home. Until then.
Reflection on Cagliari
It occurred to me that I had summed up Cagliari as a street of pretty trees and no dropped kerbs. It’s history is the history of Rome with much of the ancient city buried but being revealed in archeological digs. There is a web of underground tunnels following the ways of the ancient roads. Official (expensive) ships tours are to what are known as archeological parks where one can stumble through active excavations. One park is the site of fossil digs. Cagliari must be along the same geographical line as North Africa, also rich in fossils. I suppose at one time they were one continent.
The city boasts many cathedrals and chapels, ancient and ornate. It is built on an extinct volcano so the streets have steep inclines that bedevil my Scooter.
Parallel to the marina there stands a 400 yard collonade, Via Roma, providing shelter, shade and a cooling breeze as one shops and takes refreshment at the terrace cafes. The shops are all high end and were rushing to close for siesta. Being a cool spot in a hot city the overpriced cafes were doing a roaring trade.
Wednesday 19th June
First of all please all join me in wishing a very special friend, whom I have known since 1976, a happy birthday. Happy birthday wishes to Ewan Wilson.
Today is a sea day. The sun is very strong at sea but so is the wind. I guess there will be a lot of Nivea being rubbed in tonight.
I have been trying hard to find a sheltered spot with a little dappled sun so as not to blemish my perfect complexion. Royal CARIBBEAN take their title seriously by filling every corner with a Caribbean beat, not music just an incessant beat that is positively painful. 24 women were puffing, panting and sweating to it in an open air Zumba on the football court. I think that was to the band who have a lead rapper with a letter as a first name, like K Rock, J Zee, etc. So I would be D Ave, how about ‘D Ave the Rave’. That has a certain deafening beat to it. How about hubby? W. Illiam sounds like colon deformity. How about “Will I Am”? I bet no one has thought of that.
We have lunch booked with a group of friends in the main dining room. Then at 3 “Some Like it Hot” is being shown at the Black and White Film Club so William will be there in his finest Marilyn regalia to cheer on ‘Sugar Cane’.
Lunch was very good but one of the ‘friends’ was very wearing. Switched on all the time without even a mute button. His partner used a scooter and I didn’t take to his care needs constantly being referenced how how dedicated to how selflessly and silently he catered to them. He thought insults were the highest form of humour, that might be acceptable with someone you know well but not people you have just met.
The loud one said the silent one was painfully shy and could not speak to strangers. I was sitting next to him and we had a few easy conversations. I guess he is always waiting to get a word in.
10:30 at night the captain came on the Tanoy, another medical emergency and someone to be taken to hospital. I was selfish enough to be relieved that we did not have to turn back, the person was lifted by helicopter. With the result that we will be an hour late into Cadiz. How inconsiderate .
Another glorious sail into Cadiz. We choose this port for the bargain price pink peppercorns and sale garments from C&A.
After this adventure we sail for home so you will get my “cruise retrospective” from Kelty on Monday.
We both love visiting Cadiz. It is a port city that has been inhabited for over 3000 years and archeological digs are revealing more of the Roman city. The streets are narrow but well paved and there are bars, shops and historic sites at every turn. You will remember Cadiz Daniel as the place we stood in a doorway while the rain bounced a foot high from the pavement.
As with most European cities we have visited the port area has been developed with better roads and pavements. The town squares have been improved and made into vibrant centres for market stalls and outdoor bistros. William found a Catholic chapel, an oratory formed in a cave and designed by Goya. It dates back to 1730. It would stand alongside anything from Rome or Florence for it’s majesty. The entrance is very understated, a small doorway in a street of houses and private businesses. Once inside, the cupola, chandelier and statuary are breathtaking. Google “Oratory of La Santa Cueva”.
I mentioned our places of pilgrimage. C&A, is now ‘Decathlon’ the sports outlet. Granier where we always enjoy a coffee has gone too. We do love the food market. It is a stone built square with shopping units let into the walls on the inside. The pavement around the inside of the market is flanked by stone colonnades making the space cool and airy. The market was established in 1830 but it is built in the Roman style. It is all food and spices, through preserved foods, all things dead from land and sea plus some things live, viz snails and oysters. The fruit and veg, as you would imagine, is of a size and quality we never see.
As per all of this part of Europe, 1 until 3 is siesta. Unique to Cadiz, once all the stores have dropped their shutters, the African sellers appear and take up the spaces outside the closed shops selling fake goods to match those the shops sell. Bloomin cheek!
We tried to find lunch but all the pavement cafes sold the same array of dead things. So back to the ship for a sandwich and a snooze. After dinner it was down to the “Black and White Cinema Club” for a showing of Sunset Boulevard, Gloria Swanson and William Holden. At the end, the audience of 65+ years all sighed, “They don’t make movies like that anymore.”
We were over an hour late leaving port but this time it was a coach party from Seville that was running late so good excuse. Especially as someone on the coach had suffered a heart attack and the coach was diverted to hospital. It is getting ridiculous, people put their loved ones on a cruise and are met at Southampton by a steward bearing their teeth in a Jiffy Bag.
Friday 21st June and I am again trying to get fresh air and sunshine and risking deafness. Zumba to N Dubz or some other capital letter. I just found a spot outside the deaf zone and immediately the Caribbean beat started. I at least thought the Zumba people were due a coffee and a cake.
Whilst I am on nationality there is a RCL habit that really “grinds my gears”. There is a junior steward on duty at the entrance to the Windjammer buffet who’s job it is to ask people to use the alcohol gel on their hands to reduce the chance of infection. That is all well and good but their use of racial stereotypes is far from good. The skinny black man is wearing fake Rasta locks and a Jimmy Hendrix knitted hat, dancing to a Caribbean beat. When he is off duty their are various stewards with a vaguely “oriental” look chanting “washy washy or no yummy yummy”!! Reminiscent of Bloody Mary in “South Pacific”.
Are there any physicists amongs my readership? When scooting along the deck in the opposite direction to that which the ship is travelling and I stop, the clutch brake on the scooter brakes hard and pitches me forward. Explanations with a complete mathematical formula by return please. (Bill Smart get on to it please)
The sun decks and solarium are interesting places to be today. There is strong sun but with being in the move at sea there is a stiff breeze. People determined to be out are draped in blankets with just their heads popping out. Post breakfast snooziness means many are lying with their mouths open. It looks like the worlds most disordered mortuary.
13:00 hours and we are in “Studio B” for the ice show. Being Diamond Plus, we are met at the door by the Concierge and are first in, thus getting the pick of seats. It is a perk I could do without but one has to be faithful to one’s class. The show depicts the seasons of the year, very well choreographed and some good original tracks for the skater to dance too
Sea days can be quite hectic. After the ice show it was sandwiches and coffee at The Promenade Cafe.
2 p.m. Seniors compulsory sleepy time. (Tuck in service available on request).
3.30. Bingo
4.00 Afternoon Tea in the Admiral Fortescue Memorial Sea Spa
5.00 “Stand up Safely Demonstration”. I put my name down for that but when I got there it was on the artificial wave machine and referred to surfing. So I had to hie me to The Diamond Lounge for complimentary drinkies.
7 p.m. To The Windjammer Buffet for dinner. After me putting in a complaint about the senior member of staff who told me I was wrong about the lack of vegetarian entrees and marched me smartly to the creamed spinach, we have been inundated be chefs, sous chefs, pastry chefs, the chef who guards the recipe for gravy and various besuited managers. They have poured over us with vegetarian pies, burgers and curries til they are coming out of our ears. The curries, not just our ears. I think they are determined to get a gold star in the Cruise review.
9 p.m. The Show, dance from around the world. Not the sort of thing I would choose to see at home. It is tapping in to the “Strictly” vibe. But a bonus at the end of the day. We have been lucky to have one show every night, some matinees and either current or ancient films. Some entertainment has been unforgettable, some completely forgettable.
10 p.m. and I have started my packing. Alcohol in one bag that travels on the foot plate of my scooter. We have received our details for “debarking”, that is an irritating Americanism and we are of at 06:20 Sunday. That suits me fine. Well on the way and might get home before dark.
Naughty people last night. A man was escorted to his cabin, just along the hall from us and security guards have been posted outside all night and they are still there now. He is one of those ‘shaved gorilla’ types with head to toe tattoos. Not that I am ‘passremarkable’. End of cruise + drinks package = will now be banned from all cruise lines for life. His spouse will be proud.
Very difficult eating breakfast this morning. Last day and staff are schmoozing round hoping for tips. It won’t work. We get our tips removed from being deducted direct and pay them to those who have worked on our behalf. That way we are sure they get them and nothing is being creamed off. We meet so many people who brag about how much they have saved by having tips removed. Despicable, the majority of staff work damned hard.
The heating has been cranked up. I can only imagine it is to appease those numpties with sun stroke. I am on the Diamond Balcony writing this and as soon as I manoeuvred myself up to a table, P Pee Sissy started his dub beat for the Zumbaistas.
We have $40 on board credit left so it will be a return to the Prom shops to spend it on pashminas and ‘healing crystal’ necklaces. The crystals have the power to cure you of maladies, improve your self esteem and stop your sponge cakes sinking. At $2.88 I think they will be suffering from irrecoverable fatigue before you have unpacked.
The mood onboard is very sedate, not somber, people are still enjoying themselves but in a relaxed manner. I will make this my last post before we dock.
I need to ask you a favour, you may have heard of the GDPR, the new Data Protection legislation. We will be cruising three more times this year and in order for me to keep you on my blog mailing list you must give me express permission to contact you. So please respond with AYE if you want to receive the blog in September and AYE RIGHT! if you don’t. Scots fans will understand.
Adieu and god bless.
Dave and William
Xx xx
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